Daily Joke: I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

Daily Joke: My doctor told me that I needed to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.

Daily Joke: Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

Daily Joke: Did you know a day on Mercury lasts for 1 408 hours? Same as a Monday on Earth.

Daily Joke: Today, I bought cupcakes without sprinkles. Dieting is so hard.

Daily Joke: Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

Daily Joke: Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar; I’ve been doing nothing for years.

Daily Joke: I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road-worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.