Daily Joke: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Daily Joke: A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Daily Joke: Whenever I pass someone who is texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.

Daily Joke: Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People? Not so much.

Daily Joke: I’m great at multitasking: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Daily Joke: My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Daily Joke: Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Daily Joke: Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.