Daily Joke: As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself that maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

Daily Joke: If a child refuses to sleep during nap-time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Daily Joke: I like to hold hands at the movies, which always seems to startle strangers.

Daily Joke: My wife just found out that I replaced our bed with a trampoline – she hit the roof.

Daily Joke: I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, and then it dawned on me.

Daily Joke: I had a neck brace fitted years ago, and I’ve never looked back since.

Daily Joke: I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.

Daily Joke: A bank is a place that will lend you money, only if you can prove that you don’t need it.