Daily Joke: Did you hear about the guy who ran in front of a bus? He got tired.

Daily Joke: Feeling pretty proud of myself – the puzzle I bought said ‘three-to-five years’, but I finished it in 18 months.

Daily Joke: My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.

Daily Joke: I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, as all it was doing was gathering dust.